50 of the worst jokes and one-liners from the Edinburgh Fringe

Even the best comedians can have an off day.

While the Edinburgh Fringe is known for its high quality comedy, some of the festival’s jokes are so bad they’re good.

Here are 50 of the most terrible jokes and one-liners from Fringe-goers have groaned at in recent years.

*Warning: contains some adult material*

From the cringeworthy…

• “In France J-Lo is called ‘I have water.’” Adam Hess (2016)

• “If you don’t know what introspection is, you need to take a long, hard look at yourself.” Ian Smith (2015)

“I like to play chess with bald men in the park, although it’s hard to find 32 of them.” Emo Philips (2010)

“I never lie on my CV… because it creases it.” Jenny Collier (2015)

“I thought ex-pats were people who used to be called Pat.” Simon Lilley (2013)

“I was born into the music industry. My dad worked in Our Price.” Doc Brown (2010)

“Drive Thru McDonalds was more expensive than I thought. Once you’ve hired the car...” Tim Key (2011)

“My mate sat on my pumpkin. He butternut squash it.” Leo Kearse (2014)

“I usually meet my girlfriend at 12:59, because I like that one to one time.” Tom Ward (2015)

“You know city centre beat officers? Well, are they police who rap?” Sean Hughes (2010)

“Let me tell you a little about myself. It’s a reflexive pronoun that means ‘me’.” Ally Houston (2015)

“I’ve got nothing against lesbians. I mean, that’s the point, isn’t it?” Gyles Brandreth (2010)

“I’d like to start with the chimney jokes – I’ve got a stack of them. The first one is on the house.” Tim Vine (2014)

“How many Spaniards does it take to change a lightbulb? Juan.” Dan Antopolski (2010)

“This vodka is drunk by the rapper Sean Combs. P Diddy? Only when he drank a whole bottle.” Ben McFarland and Tom Sandham (2014)